Sundays I Write Letters

Dear Sunday,

Things aren't really working out the way I thought they would. We used to have so much fun together. Remember in the summers how we would read the newspaper in our pajamas and we would just do whatever came our way? We'd go out and take pictures in the afternoon, maybe do some shopping, or just lounge the afternoon away. Do you even remember what we did in the winters when I was in school? It seems so long ago, I bet you don't even remember going to brunch or listening to NPR and trying to figure out Will Shortz's Sunday Puzzle together. Remember listening to NPR?

You're not fun anymore. All we ever do is argue. I see the dishes in the sink and I'm angry and disappointed. Will you not give me any time to wash them? It's a darn good thing that I have a free laundry service because I'd never have any clean socks. And don't dare tell me that it's warm enough to wear sandals and I don't even need socks. I'd like to have brunch sometimes, but nope. I can't even think about listening to NPR or reading the newspaper. You just don't give me the time I need.

Sunday, I can't go on like this. I need a break. We've got to spend some time apart.

Yours,
T. Budnik

Week #16

Enjoy!
T. Budnik

Sundays I Write Letters

Dear lady who stood behind me at the post office,
Do you have no joy in your life? Perhaps if you didn’t wait until the last day to mail your taxes you’d be happier. Or, maybe if you turned off your phone and didn’t have to answer the thing three times in thirty minutes, you could focus your energy on not being so annoying.

Sincerely,
T. Budnik



RE: THINGS THAT MAKE ME LAUGH
Dear KBezzie,
This same actor plays a nerd in an argyle sweater. So, he’s not just for the gold-diggin’ whores.

Sincerely,
T. Budnik


Dear Mom,
I’d have to say that if this is what you see when you look, it is best you just keep your eyes to yourself.

Sincerely,
T. Budnik



RE: WEEK #15
Dear Mom,
You tell me. I have been busy, busy, busy! I’m gonna have to take a “fucket” day and say “fucket” to my homework and just go have some fun.

Sincerely,
T. Budnik


Dear KBezzie,
I always knew you were a sharp tack.

And, I bet if you were to ask Daddy, he’d buy you some secret gum. Shhh, don’t tell anyone.

Sincerely,
T. Budnik

Week #15

Enjoy!
T. Budnik

Things That Make Me Laugh

This ad holds the belief that it's okay to look. Even Dr. Phil says it's okay to look in his television spot for this matchmaking site.

The doctor starts out just kind of playing with his stethoscope and then walks up to the camera (really your computer screen) and proceeds to check your heart with his instrument and then checks your reflexes. Once the examination is over, he strolls back to his starting point while throwing back a few flirty looks, poses a few times, and then the mini-film replays.

It's freakin' hilarious.

Sure, it's okay to look, but if this ad is indicative of what's out there, I'm not sure if I want to see it.

Enjoy!
T. Budnik

Sundays I Write Letters

RE: WEEK #13
Dear Birdie,
The first thing you learn in writing school is “cute” isn’t cute.

The second thing you learn in writing school is that there really isn’t a writing school.

I will consider your “planner scanner” suggestion.

Sincerely,
T. Budnik


Dear KBezzie,
I once saw a guy wearing an Alaska t-shirt. I was so excited. “You ever been?” I asked. “No,” he replied. “I think I got this shirt at Old Navy.” Jerk.

I love Langston Hughes. He isn’t afraid to just tell it like it is.

Sincerely,
T. Budnik


Dear Mom,
It did take me a couple of days to get my two wall calendars changed. You must remember that I am still a bit handicapped in the scanning department—I have to use my old laptop to scan which only stays lit for so long.

Sincerely,
T. Budnik



RE: WEEK #14
Dear KBezzie,
Thank you for you heads up. I went onto the website and voted for the musher. The bears just looked jive and I’m not sure if I dig the gold panner. I figure why not put a musher on our quarter and keep these Lower 48-ers clueless.

Sincerely,
T. Budnik


Dear Birdie,
Please see my first letter to you regarding the label suggestion.

Vote for the musher. That is all.

Sincerely,
T. Budnik


Dear Mom,
Yes, this is a catch-up post. You are now up to date.

Sincerely,
T. Budnik



RE: BOOK REVIEW
Dear Mom,
You should like this book. He grew up in Iowa—he’s basically your Midwestern brethren. And, I think he mentions your birth year being something of interest, like the happiest year recorded—something weird. Tell me what you think of it.

Sincerely,
T. Budnik

Book Review: The Life and Times of the Thunderbolt Kid

A Memoir by Bill Bryson

I liked this book. True to his word, it wasn’t about a whole lot. I would have liked it a whole lot better if Bryson had fallen into the Thunderbolt Kid’s persona every once in a while instead of mentioning something at the end of the first couple of chapters (he even dropped that probably halfway through).

There was a lot of factual information. And a bibliography at the end. Those were the times I tended to doze. Bryson has colorful language and I did laugh at times, but not consistently. I bet he could have done it. I bet the entire book could have been hilarious. Maybe that’s just not his style, though.

If you want a good, easy read about growing up in the 50’s pick it up.

Enjoy!
T. Budnik

Week #14

Enjoy!
T. Budnik

Week #13

Enjoy!
T. Budnik

Sundays I Almost Forget to Write Letters

RE: WEEK #12
Dear Mom,
I don’t necessarily miss big mosquitoes. At my campground was probably the first time I’ve seen them down here. Don’t worry, I told Birdie about them.

Sincerely,
T. Budnik


Dear KBezzie,
They have been married quite some time. I know, it’s hard to believe. And, if Nikki and Gene take a peek at this blog, they’ll no that I did remember despite the fact I didn’t send a card or greeting of any kind.

Sincerely,
T. Budnik



RE: BOOK REVIEW
Dear KBezzie,
T’ain’t your hmmm and t’ain’t your hole. It’s your taint.

In all seriousness, I was never the type to do the criticism that requires you to scour the text for clues about the author’s personal life. But, really, the text is a reflection of the author.

Sincerely,
T. Budnik


Dear Mom,
I’ll believe that “open mind” when you start reading some of the stuff I’ve read! Haha. Every time I see a quilt novel at work, I think of you. True story.

Sincerely,
T. Budnik



RE: ARTIST TRADING CARD CHAIN LETTER
Dear KBezzie,
I demand that you hit up your blog readers for some chain letter participants.

I’m happy for you and your Vista-compatible computer.

Sincerely,
T. Budnik


Dear Mom,
The artist trading cards are just fun to make and trade. The themes are generally open and they aren’t juried. That means you don’t have to be a “real artist” to make ‘em. I put my blog address and sometimes my email address on the back—I got the chain letter from a woman who exchanged her cards in the same round as I did of the sister trading card exchange.

Sincerely,
T. Budnik



RE: ANOTHER BOOK REVIEW
Dear KBezzie,
How dare you forget!

Sincerely,
T. Budnik


Dear Mom,
This was the first Atwood piece I read. It’s a good starting point. I strongly suggest picking it up.

Sincerely,
T. Budnik



RE: DEALING WITH WIZARDS OF SORTS
Dear Readers,
This is what I meant by ‘wizards of sorts:’

They’re the men behind the curtain—the Wizard of Oz. They’re the ones you get all prepped for, try to impress, and when they press you to do something, you do it. Because, well, they’re fuckin’ wizards and you said you’d do it. My problem is that I don’t point out that there’s just a man behind the curtain and still go through the motions of humoring them. And does anything ever come out of humoring these wizards? Nope, ‘cause I could possibly, maybe only be funny on a certain day. Or I’m not worthy of filling out the entire critique form.

The thing is, in the past couple of weeks, I walked into situations because of wizards. I knew that I wouldn’t get along in these situations, because of who I am, but did I get out of it? Nope, I just kept on going.

I give my word because of these wizards, I don’t break my word because of who I am, and I end up in a crappy situation. I’d like to call out the man behind the curtain before I end up somewhere I never want to be.

Sincerely,
T. Budnik

Dealing with Wizards of Sorts

If there’s one thing my 30,000 dollar education here in Atlanta is teaching me, it’s who I am. I know who I am to the point where I know when it comes into conflict—when we aren’t going to enjoy the same kind of jokes and never become the best of buds. But, I can get along knowing this.

It can sneak up on me, though. Standing before wizards of sorts, I get the “it could be funny on the right day, but not today.” Really? ‘Cause do you have any joy in your life? Why don’t you go home and kick the cat? I’m sure that’s funny on any day of the week. I spent way too much time on those wizards of sorts.

It happened a second time within a week--I spent too much time on wizards of sorts who I knew I probably won't ever share jokes or ever become best buds with. Both times I could sense it. Oh, I could smell it. Why did I follow through? To keep to my word.

That’s who I am. I stick to my word. I find the heading “Hello Trello!” for Lands’ Ends’s Croc-wannabe shoes (called Trellos) amusing. I like cotton, button-up shirts and plain t-shirts. I drive a Taurus, for godssake, and I love it. I couldn’t refuse a free ride in a 1985 pink limo, because I thought it was funny. I can knit. I crochet potholders. I send birthday cards to everyone I care about and hand-make Christmas cards for a privileged twenty-four. (And I think that’s funny.) I start sentences with ‘and’ and ‘so.’ I preferred British Victorian novels in undergrad. I was offended when a professor pursued me and even more offended when a drunk grad student told me what he really thought of me. I miss home and don’t miss people who don’t understand. I like putting stamps on the back of pictures and mailing them as postcards. A picture of my dead cat (when she was alive, of course) resides in a heart-shaped frame on my makeshift desk. That’s who I am.

But, it sneaks up on tiptoes with bent knees and let’s out a good “BAH!” right in my ear so loud I have to fight back tears. I sensed it was behind me the entire time, but I had to stick to my word. So, if there was one thing that I could change, it wouldn’t be the ability to break my word; no, it would be the ability to turn around and call out the looming crappy situation. Walk away. And be just who I am.

Enjoy!
T. Budnik

Book Review: Moral Disorder and other stories by Margaret Atwood

I loved, loved this book. It's a bunch of short stories, but they are about the same characters. They jump to different points of view each story which keeps things fresh and allows for the reader to learn the main character's name--finally.

My favorite story: "The Other Place." It's my favorite because I identified with it so much. It's pretty much about not settling down. Exhibit A: my refusal to buy any real furniture, or if you want to consider a portable picnic table real, anything that cost more than $100. And even then, I only have one piece that cost that much.

In my last review I asked, "so what?" and, I guess maybe some readers could ask the same of this one. It is fiction. But, I'm not asking it on this one.

Get this book and read it.

Enjoy!
T. Budnik

Artist Trading Card Chain Letter

A couple of weeks ago, I got a chain letter to exchange artist trading cards. Not wanting to disappoint, I whipped some up. I wanted to do something that involved scans of various notebook pages, but my computer didn't want to do it. It seems one of my very, very expensive software programs isn't compatible with Vista.

(Dear Heavenly Being, Why, oh, why didn't I just patch together my old computer and buy a monitor and keyboard? And save a few hundred dollars? Sincerely, Me.)

Anyway, here they are. You have to read them right to left, top to bottom. It's a six part series about my Graceland Trip.

Enjoy!
T. Budnik

Book Review: The Floatplane Notebooks by Clyde Edgerton

This book was recommended by my dear aunt. The book very much reminds me of William Faulkner's As I lay Dying. It's the whole mix of different points of view and the fact that the family members in the book aren't the sharpest tools in the shed.

It's a pretty good book, but I can't help the fact that knowing that Edgerton teaches creative writing at a college (I read the "about the author" paragraph) taints my view. After reading the book, I had to ask that dreaded question: so what? And maybe that's why I dislike the concept of MFA programs. So what? So what if you can write a novel that is technically creative? Where's the beef? That's what I was left asking. Technically the book is creative, but it lacks a little somethin'.

Enjoy!
T. Budnik

Week #12

I know, I know, it's a little late. But, you all wanted to know about Graceland, right?

Enjoy!
T. Budnik

Sundays I Write Letters

RE: IT STARTED SOMETHING LIKE THIS
Dear Mom,
I think by now most of your questions have been answered. Yes, I do still love you and no, I’m not mad at you. No, I would not like you to continue with the questions.

Sincerely,
T. Budnik


Dear KBezzie,
You should listen to Amy Winehouse. It’s good stuff.

And, I am awake.

Sincerely,
T. Budnik



RE: GRACELAND TRIP: DAY 01
Dear Birdie,
It was a sweet cabin. I was a little afraid that there would be spiders, etc, but there weren’t. Also, it had an air conditioner and it had some electrical outlets (if I had known that I would have brought things to plug in).

I did check my fluids before I left the auto shop. I was on a slope, the sun was shining right on my engine and as Daddy will tell you, when you have a flush, sometimes it takes awhile for the fluids to settle. (I’m still pissed I had to buy coolant and fill it.)

Sincerely,
T. Budnik


Dear KBezzie,
The sleeping bag was as good as they can get. I bought the 40F bag because I knew there was no way it would get as cold as 0F. Well, it was still too hot. Even with air conditioning, there was no way my cabin was going to get cold.

I did see the Days Inn. It really was just on the other side of the Graceland ticket complex from where the campground was.

Sincerely,
T. Budnik


Dear Mom,
I think you know the answers to your questions now. It’s been a crazy couple of weeks. Sorry you didn’t get the memo. Haha!

Sincerely,
T. Budnik



RE: GRACELAND TRIP: DAY 02
Dear KBezzie,
Damn, I didn’t even think to send you the same postcard you sent me. I saw it, though. And, what makes you so sure that you made my postcard list? Haha. I kid because I kare.

I eagerly await the NYC postcard!

Sincerely,
T. Budnik


Dear Mom,
I love them pineapples. Haha. Part of the reason why I went to the Gibson factory was because I knew it’d make Daddy a bit jealous. That, and factories are strangely fascinating.

Sincerely,
T. Budnik


Dear NikBudnik,
I’m so happy that you took the pink limo. The food at Marlowe’s was great and so was the company.

Sincerely,
T. Budnik


Dear Birdie,
I laughed for several minutes after reading that you mistook Judy and Bill for our dear family members. Thank you. I needed a good laugh.

Sincerely,
T. Budnik



RE: GRACELAND TRIP: DAY 03
Dear KBezzie,
I’ll take you up on that offer—I’ll come visit you some time.

I think we need to get the Old Man to Graceland/Memphis, too. He was very excited I went to the Gibson factory. And, maybe Mom and Birdie don’t have the capacity to be cool like us?

Sincerely,
T. Budnik


Dear NikBudnik,
Do you know what that pyramid is all about? You seem pretty knowledgeable about the Memphis area, I figured I’d ask.

Sincerely,
T. Budnik


Dear Mom,
Your literal interpretation of “cool” makes me laugh. (We all know that you’re cool, literally and metaphorically.)

Sincerely,
T. Budnik