Monday, June 30, 2008

What's On My Mind: A List (Accompanied by Doodles)

WOMM11

1. I've been busy at work. I find that at 5pm, done or not, I have to leave. So, I've been bringing work home.

2. When I drew this, I was eating a blueberry bagel with cream cheese.

3. I bought a toilet brush on Saturday. We'll see if I actually use it.

4. I'm taking the 5 Fridays of August off which will now be known as Adventure Fridays. I don't have any definite plans, but the possibilities are endless.

5. I find it very irritating that an organization I paid a lot of money to would misspell my name on their website. Here's a hint: There's two ways to spell "Theresa." Why don't you double check it? And here's another hint: My first name has an "h."

6. Corey the Cat! found a moth in the bedroom last night. He was going after it, but it decided to head towards the light. On it's journey, it got sucked into the fan and then hit by one of the blades and shot across the room. I have not a clue where it went, but I trust Corey the Cat! to have found and eaten it.

Enjoy!
T. Budnik

Sunday, June 29, 2008

Sundays I Write Letters

RE: WHAT'S ON MY MIND
Dear KBezzie,
If you don’t want your spirit’s earthly vessel buried, what would you like done with it?

And, don’t knock Sex and the City.

Sincerely,
T. Budnik


Dear Mom,
I want to come back to the Greatland for a visit. And, if I never do move back, I will keep a metaphoric cabin there.

Sincerely,
T. Budnik



RE: CUTE CAT STORY
Dear KBezzie,
Your thoughts intrigue me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter. Can you tell me more about the laws of cat fur?

Sincerely,
T. Budnik


Dear Mom,
You are absolutely right. My cat is a very good cat.

Sincerely,
T. Budnik



RE: WEEK #25
Dear KBezzie,
Yes, you should grow brussels sprouts next year. They are delicious.

Sincerely,
T. Budnik


Dear Mom,
No, I am not a moose. But I play one on TV.

Sincerely,
T. Budnik

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Week #25

08week25

Enjoy!
T. Budnik

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

WARNING! Cute Cat Story Ahead!

This happened a week ago. Last Tuesday, when I came home, Corey the Cat! was in the big room. I greeted him and immediately noticed he had pulled the cloth off of my printer. This isn't a new thing of his. A few days prior, I woke up and the cloth had been pulled off. No big deal. Corey the Cat! went into the bedroom as I was putting the cloth back on.

As I was putting my bag away, Corey the Cat! came out from the bedroom and I asked him how his day was. He ran back off to the bedroom. I went about reading my mail and Corey the Cat! came back out of the bedroom and just looked at me.

"Corey the Cat!, what are you up to?" I asked him. "You've got a sneaky look on your face!" Corey the Cat! just walked back to the bedroom. I followed, since I was done reading my mail and ready to change into appropriate clothing for my walk.

What did I see in my bedroom? A knocked over laundry drying rack! (I had done laundry on Monday and had yet to get a chance to put it away.) Corey the Cat! knew he had done something wrong because he didn't just knock over my clean laundry. No, he nested on a fallen towel as detected by the fur on it. And, AND, the rack broke. Observez-vous!

CuteCatStory01

So last Saturday, I bought a new laundry rack. This one was twice as expensive as the first, but it's metal. One of the benefits bulleted on the package was, "Cat Proof: No mischievous cats named "Corey" can break this rack. Guaranteed."

CuteCatStory03

We'll see.

Enjoy!
T. Budnik

Monday, June 23, 2008

What's On My Mind: A List (Accompanied by Doodles)

WOMM10

1. I have to drop a Netflix DVD in the mail. What have I been watching, you ask? Sex and the City. No joke. It's a good show.

2. I have to water Pedro.

3. I have to balance my checkbook.

4. I also have to sweep.

5. It has occurred to me that maybe I should start framing some things that don't have frames and hang them up. My walls are still really bare. But as soon as I start thinking about this, my furniture commitment issues flare up. Someone last week asked me what I thought of Cincinnati and told me to be honest. I said, "Honestly, Cincinnati is fine. But, it's not like I want to die here." Seriously, I don't want to grow old and die here. (And, I've informed my loved ones that if I do happen to die here, to take me back to Alaska--and now you know.) So, I think my furniture commitment issues are complemented by the fact that I don't feel settled--I'm not located in a geographic location where I can see myself growing old, dying, and being buried in the soil. And because of this, I can't hang anything on my walls.

Enjoy!
T. Budnik

Sunday, June 22, 2008

Sundays I Write Letters

RE: WHAT'S ON MY MIND
Dear KBezzie,
Corey the Cat! digs the laser pointer. Oh, it gets him all riled up. If he sees it, he has to get it. Oh, he’s my boy! MY BOY!!!

Sincerely,
T. Budnik


Dear Mom,
I thank you for being environmentally conscious when it comes to watering the greenery on your property. I’m sure Earth thanks you, too.

Sincerely,
T. Budnik



RE: UPDATE
Dear KBezzie,
Your sarcastic expression of sympathy is not appreciated. Ricky was a damn good raccoon.

Sincerely,
T. Budnik


Dear Mom,
Please, while I’m still mourning the loss of my raccoon neighbor, don’t bring up his faults. It’s a little insensitive.

Sincerely,
T. Budnik



RE: WEEK #24
Dear KBezzie,
Don’t be jealous of my boy. MY BOOOOY!

Sincerely,
T. Budnik


Dear Mom,
Are you suggesting that I’m a sloppy eater? Because I’m not.

Sincerely,
T. Budnik



RE: BOOK REVIEW
Dear Doret,
First, welcome to my humble blog. I found your blog a few weeks ago via Toni’s. I do enjoy your reading your reviews.

Second, yes, I am glad I was not in the presence of Richard Preston. Did you meet him? What was your impression?

Sincerely,
T. Budnik


Dear KBezzie,
Ain’t that the truth?

Sincerely,
T. Budnik


Dear Mom,
You are always welcome.

Sincerely,
T. Budnik

Friday, June 20, 2008

Book Review: The Wild Trees by Richard Preston

wild trees

"Author's Note: This book is narrative nonfiction. The characters are real and the events are factual, told to the best of my understanding. Passages in which I narrate a person's thoughts and feelings and present dialogue have been built from interviews with the subjects and witnesses, and have been fact-checked. So many incredible things happen in our world that are never noticed, so many stories never get told. My goal is to reveal people and realms that nobody had ever imagined."

I think this pretty much sums up the book. How so? Well, first, this "narrative nonfiction" is very self-conscious. You can pretty much tell that Richard Preston was sitting at his computer, looking at his notes, and struggling to figure out how to creatively write a simple fact like, "Michael Taylor put on some pounds." What Preston comes up with is, "Soon he was buying larger and larger sizes of rapper pants." Oooh, now that's some good craft.

And, it appears that the stories, people, and realms that are so worthy of being revealed are just those of Preston himself. See, near the end of the book he reveals that he climbs trees, too. And, he's so passionate about it, he figures out how to assemble a spider rig and climb it, something Steve Sillett wasn't willing to teach him. Not to mention, Preston goes into quite a bit of detail about the tree climbing that he and his family does. I wish there had been a little less horn tootin'.

I highly recommend that you do NOT read this book. There's not a whole lot to take away--the science is skimmed. The spirituality and passion of the trees is skimmed. And there's too much horn tootin'. The only good thing I can say is that it was an easy read and I got through it quickly--thank goodness it wasn't Thoreau. And, it'll make you see trees differently.

Enjoy!
T. Budnik

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Week #24

08week24

This, kind folks, is the reason why I'm permanently moving my planner from my "desk" (where it rests with my keys and cell phone atop it) to my kitchen table. The plan is that while I'm eating I'll be doodling--that is, if I'm not reading Outside, learning about John Muir, or planning my next hiking adventure.

Enjoy!
T. Budnik

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

UPDATE: Ricky the Raccoon
I think they got Ricky! The trap isn't there anymore.

Ricky07

Oh! Ricky! May your soul rest in peace.

Enjoy!
T. Budnik

Monday, June 16, 2008

What's On My Mind: A List (Accompanied by Doodles)

WOMM09

1. The weekend before last, I bought some Hanes underwear that were supposed to be "hipsters." Well, they're pretty much Granny underwear (I'd write "panties" but I despise that word). So, last weekend I went and bought some Fruit of the Loom underwear--hipsters. Thank you, Fruit of the Loom. So, I drew the chick on the package. I made her look fat and with a gorilla hand on purpose--I'm not THAT bad at drawing. Those polka dots are from one of the pairs of underwear. See, Fruit of the Loom has more Jazz Your Fazz designs than Hanes (something I enjoy). Stupid Hanes.

2. On the same underwear trip I bought Corey the Cat! a laser toy. It's basically a laser pointer, but it's in the shape of a mouse. There were two different colors to choose from: pink and silver. Of course I bought the silver. It makes me wonder why in the world the laser cat toy marketers felt it was necessary to offer different colors. Did they do consumer research and find out that cat owners were more likely to purchase the toy if they had an option of color?

3. I bought a Kentucky hiking guide book because Cincinnati is just across the river from Kentuckles. Ends up, there aren't a whole lot of hiking options close to The 'Nati south of the border. Oh well. At some point I'll probably be taking day trips in my car and I'll probably just go to these hiking spots.

4. Some bastard in my neighborhood felt it was necessary to water the sidewalk. When I first walked by the sprinkler, the sidewalk was completely drenched. On my way back, about 20-30 minutes later, the water was running in the street directly to the sewer. If I had seen the jerk who felt this was necessary for their manicured lawn, I would have commented about it (not only because it was a waste of water, but because I had to walk ON THE BUSY STREET to avoid getting wet).

Listen up, Jerkface, if I see that sprinkler watering the sidewalk again, I'm going to do one of two things: I'm going to kink your hose so that it stops watering, or I'm just going to toss the sprinkler over your fence so at least something LIVING AND GREEN gets the water. And, if there's ever a ban on watering lawns, your house will be the very first one I report. If you want water, you have to conserve water.

Enjoy!
T. Budnik

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Sundays I Write Letters

RE: WHAT'S ON MY MIND
Dear KBezzie,
I bet my smoothie was more delicious than that bowl of banana split ice cream because I made it myself and had my blood, sweat, and tears in it.

If people don’t like my pasty, spider-veined legs, they can suck it. I wear skirts sans pantyhose/tights in the summer. (In the winter, I wear the pantyhose/tights for temperature issues.)

Sincerely,
T. Budnik


Dear Mom,
Is there not a diabetic smoothie? I don’t use any sugar in mine—sometimes I don’t even use fruit juice, just milk.

Sincerely,
T. Budnik



RE: RICKY UPDATE
Dear KBezzie,
Quit raggin’ on Ricky.

Sincerely,
T. Budnik


Dear Birdie,
I bet you want to squish that squirrel good.

Sincerely,
T. Budnik


Dear Mom,
That squirrel is indeed a bonafide squirrel. I took the picture from inside. And, the damn thing eats from my compost pot, so it’s pretty tame.

Sincerely,
T. Budnik



RE: WEEK #23
Dear KBezzie,
Yes, very, very frightening.

Sincerely,
T. Budnik


Dear Mom,
Aren’t you a sassy sassafras?

Sincerely,
T. Budnik



RE: MOSAIC FUN!
Dear KBezzie,
Isn’t Chicken Little a little too mature for you?

Ah, ha ha! I kid bekause I kare.

Sincerely,
T. Budnik


Dear Nik “married to the other Zach Braff” Budnik,
Your comment sickens me. And, I think you’re just a dreamer. You wish Gene was Zach Braff, because you, too, love Zach Braff. Don't we all?

Sincerely,
T. Budnik

Friday, June 13, 2008

Mosaic Fun!

I got this from Toni's blog and liked it so much, I did it.

The concept:
a. Type your answer to each of the questions below into Flickr Search.
b. Using only the first page, pick an image.
c. Copy and paste each of the URLs for the images into fd's mosaic maker).

The Questions:
1. What is your first name? Theresa
2. What is your favorite food? Peanut Butter
3. What high school did you go to? Palmer High School (that's actually the middle school, but it used to be the high school)
4. What is your favorite color? Red
5. Who is your celebrity crush? Zach Braff, although, I just watched The Last Kiss and it was not good.
6. Favorite drink? Water
7. Dream vacation? Driving and Hiking
8. Favorite dessert? Chocolate
9. What you want to be when you grow up? Wordsmith Extraordinaire
10. What do you love most in life? Nature
11. One Word to describe you. Quirky
12. Your flickr name. rasputin.lerat

My creation


Enjoy!
T. Budnik

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Week #23

08week23

Enjoy!
T. Budnik

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

UPDATE: Ricky the Raccoon

Saturday, while talking to the family on the phone and outside, I noticed that apartment management is trying to evict Ricky!

Ricky06

Are you kidding me? Ricky wasn't causing any problems. It's not like he plays loud music and has people over at all hours of the night. The word on the street is when you capture a raccoon, it's a death sentence for the 'coon.

Here's a gratuitous squirrel picture. If you're as upset as I am, it might cheer you up.

squirrelshot

Enjoy!
T. Budnik

Monday, June 09, 2008

What's On My Mind: A List (accompanied by doodles)

WOMM08

1.) I purchased a Black & Decker Crush Master blender. Perhaps you don't know this, but it's freakin' hot in Cincinnati. It's a heat I wasn't expecting. I can only be grateful that it does get cold in the winter. So I bought a blender so I could make smoothies. Smoothies for dinner. Because there's no way I want to turn on my oven to heat up a hobo packet.

2.) For the first time in who knows how many years, I bought a dress. Seriously. I like it.

3.) My air conditioner is a pain in the arse. It spews out this funky funk. So I have to figure out how to attach some netting in front of the vent to keep the crud out of my apartment. Oh, and I found a bent beater thingy on top of it. This is going to be added to the collection of the weird stuff I have found in my apartment. I've found about $1 in change, a key, a small flathead screwdriver, and a Mead triangular ruler deal.

4. As I drew this I was getting down on a most satisfying strawberry-banana smoothie. Jealous?

Enjoy!
T. Budnik

Sunday, June 08, 2008

Sundays I Write Letters

RE: WHAT'S ON MY MIND
Dear Mom,
It sounds like you’re excited that KBezzie is turning into you. I’m not sure if I would be excited about that.

Ah, I only kid bekause I kare.

Sincerely,
T. Budnik


Dear KBezzie,
I have come to the conclusion that your legs are of an even length. I have also come to the conclusion that in 2 years time, you will be Mom.

Sincerely,
T. Budnik


Dear Birdie,
I stand corrected. (And apparently so do you!)

Sincerely,
T. Budnik



RE: WEEK #22
Dear KBezzie,
I have discussed the details of my financial situation via private email. This blog is not an appropriate medium to be describing specific numbers.

Sincerely,
T. Budnik


Dear Mom,
Parking Poo is the form I have to fill out each and every month so that I can get my parking fees tax-free. It pretty much verifies that I’ve spent what I say I’ve spent on parking.

Sincerely,
T. Budnik



RE: BUSHY BUCKS
Dear KBezzie,
I knew you were going to claim that I was cramping your style. Because you always claim that I’m cramping your style! Don’t act like you don’t enjoy the flattery.

Sincerely,
T. Budnik


Dear NikBudnik
Oh, you know that I always look to you for good ideas. I never would have purchased my lawn chair lounger if you had never sent me that photo. Because you had endorsed it, I knew it would be comfortable. And it IS comfortable.

Sincerely,
T. Budnik


Dear Mom,
You are correct. My chair makes me sleepy. And, if I start to watch a DVD, it’s so easy to want to dose.

Sincerely,
T. Budnik


Dear Birdie,
Thank you.

Sincerely,
T. Budnik

Friday, June 06, 2008

Bushy Bucks

A few weeks ago, I received some Bushy Bucks. I like being a good American citizen, so I spent them.

Here's what I bought:

newglasses

A new pair of glasses sans an eye exam! Now, I like to describe these glasses as "Subtly Intellectual." If I had gotten a B.S. in college these glasses would say, "Here, let me solve that complicated mathematical equation for you." But, I didn't. I got a B.A. and then went on to study writing. You wanna know what these glasses say?

They say, "I'm a very busy person. I've got a lot of metaphors to create."

Okay, the glasses cost the majority of my bucks. The remainder was just enough to buy something I've been eyeballin' since I moved to Cincinnati.

Here it is:

newlounger

A super-fancy lawn lounger! Let me tell you, this thing is a dream come true for a person with furniture commitment issues. It collapses very easily, yet is sturdy. And, the reclining action is very smooth.

Enjoy!
T. Budnik

Wednesday, June 04, 2008

Week #22

08week22

Enjoy!
T. Budnik

Monday, June 02, 2008

What's On My Mind: A List (accompanied by doodles)

WOMM07

1.) I got a letter from the Ault Park Advisory Council asking for money. Seeing that I like going there and believe in preserving "natural" spaces (Ault Park has a lot of maniucured areas), I figured I send 'em a check for the $15 "individual" membership. Well, last night as I was filling out the form, I noticed a note saying to go online. Go online I did and saved 42 cents by donating online.

Folks, this brings my 2008 charitable donations to 1 pint of blood, 2 cardboard cat scratchers, and now $15 to a park.

2.) I've noticed that my pants tend to noticeably fray more on the hem of the left pant leg. Of course the only reason I can think of for this is that my left leg is distinctly shorter than my right. Now, a couple of months ago I bought brand-spankin' new tennis shoes. I must have bought the devil's brand because these shoes make my arches cramp and then the cramps slowly spread to my calves ruining a perfectly good walk.

A couple of nights ago, I had a dream that my older sister was visiting me. We were on a walk and in a very motherly way she rubbed my back as I told her my concerns about my short left leg and cramping feet and calves. (It really was like my mom in my sister's body or vice versa--it was weird regardless.) Anyway, she rubs my back and tells me she can feel something funky--that I've probably got scoliosis (my younger sister had scoliosis) and I should have it checked out.

Well, folks, I bought another brand-spankin' new pair of tennis shoes yesterday. I went on a walk last night and walked to Ault Park this morning. They're like walking on pillows. No cramps. I feel as if that dream was like me and my sisters and mom all getting together.

3.) I've made an executive decision to not go on any trips this summer. Honestly, I spent a couple of weeks on the road in late 2007/early 2008 and I'm just not hankering a trip just yet. Gas prices are high, too. And, I'd rather put money I'd spend on a small trip around the states towards a big trip home. To burn some of my vacation days, I'm thinking of taking the 5 Fridays of August off and live it up 4-day-week style.

4.) It's hot as Atlanta here. This morning the humidity was like a brick wall. I obviously need a lesson on how to apply sun screen because despite putting some on, my shoulders got burned at Ault Park.

5.) For those of you in the "lovingly manhandle Corey the Cat!" camp, it DOES NOT work. Early last week, I closed the bedroom and bathroom door when he was in the big room. He hunkered down under the lawnchair fort. I fed him 2 treats and then proceeded to pet him. He eventually boogied from the fort and "hid" behind the back door blinds. I was able to sit down next to him and pet him. Then, I picked him up and put him on my lap. He did his armadilla move until he decided to make a run for it. At that point, I figured I had "lovingly manhandled" him enough for the night and left him to go get ready for bed. While I was in the bathroom, I heard some strange noises. I came out to find he had vomited in the fort. I made him so nervous he puked!

6.) I bought a katzah toy--a Plume Crazy Teaser Wand. Well, Corey the Cat! LOVES it. But, less than one day of play with it, the feathers fell off. I have to figure out how to reattach them or email the company and tell them the quality of their toys suck.

Enjoy!
T. Budnik

Sunday, June 01, 2008

Sundays I Write Letters

RE: WHAT'S ON MY MIND
Dear Mom,
You were too quick to congratulate me on paying a little extra to my student loans. I just did it yesterday. And, I’m a bit worried that it won’t go over well with the bank. The Heavenly Being knows that my bank likes to make paying these loans off a pain in the financial arse.

Sincerely,
T. Budnik



RE: FIRST DONATION WITH HOXWORTH
Dear KBezzie,
I have know idea what you’re talking about with Farah Fawcett. I also have never read a Harry Potter book, so I have no idea what you’re talking about with “Hogwarts.”

Sincerely,
T. Budnik


Dear Mom,
Thank you. That is all.

Sincerely,
T. Budnik



RE: BOOK REVIEW
Dear KBezzie,
Don’t leaf blowers piss you off? Seriously, the concrete sidewalk isn’t going to be hurt by a few leaves on it.

Sincerely,
T. Budnik


Dear Mom,
New York magazine said that The Lost Continent is “the kind of book Steinbeck might have written if he’d traveled with David Letterman instead of Charlie the poodle.”

I’ll let you decide whether you let that influence your decision to read the book or not.

Sincerely,
T. Budnik



RE: WEEK #21
Dear KBezzie,
I am living in the now.

Sincerely,
T. Budnik


Dear Mom,
Look at the drawing again. It says “weekend.”

Sincerely,
T. Budnik



RE: FLAT FORK RIDGE TRAIL
Dear KBezzie,
I hope you read the part about where I took my spy camera. I’ll remind you and all of my other readers that the photo quality is the fun of the spy camera.

Sincerely,
T. Budnik


Dear NikBudnik,
I have never been one to decline charity.

If you come visit me in Cincinnati, I’ll take you to this bridge and pay you $5 to cross it.

Sincerely,
T. Budnik


Dear Mom,
I always think of you when I get stuck under a bridge in traffic.

Sincerely,
T. Budnik



RE: BABY COREY THE CAT!
Dear KBezzie,
I want you to understand that if you ever visit me, you will not be allowed near my katzah. I fear you would pop him.

Sincerely,
T. Budnik


Dear Birdie,
My feelings exactly.

Sincerely,
T. Budnik


Dear Mom,
Corey the Cat’s! secret is the tuxedo. When you dress classy, you are classy.

Sincerely,
T. Budnik



RE: RICKY THE RACCOON IS MY NEIGHBOR
Dear Mom,
I told you.

Sincerely,
T. Budnik


Dear KBezzie,
Thanks for ruining my excitement about my neighbor. But, I googled your raccoon fact and found that sometimes they appear in the daytime and they’re just fine.

Sincerely,
T. Budnik